Episode 59: How to Rewire Your Brain, Heal Your Body, and Take Back Your Power with Dan Metcalf

Dan is the Creator / CEO of Total Balance and Born SuperHuman. 

This episode is for anyone learning how to love themselves and build resilience during a tough season of life, whether you’re navigating perimenopausal shifts, recovering from an injury, or living with chronic illness

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why your body is wired to heal—and how to stop getting in its way and affecting our health
• The 7 pillars of natural health that optimize recovery 
• How to rewire your brain using visualization and belief instead of hope
• Why character—not willpower or “making the right choice”—drives lasting change
• What happens to your cells (literally) when you shame or love your body
• How trauma, illness, and breakdowns can become the doorway to your purpose
• Why you might feel lonely after healing—and how to find your new “people”
• The difference between being supported and being held back by others
• How to recognize victim patterns—and shift into empowered action
• What self-love actually looks like in practice 
• Why our culture profits off your disconnection—and how to reclaim your power
• A powerful framework for daily decisions using integrity, energy, and intention

00:00 Introduction to the Episode

00:03 Meet Dan Metcalf: Overcoming Adversity

02:24 Dan's Journey to Healing and Empowerment

08:28 The Power of Visualization and Belief

10:43 The Importance of Self-Love and Inner Work

24:52 Rewiring the Brain for Success

37:57 Breaking the Four-Minute Mile Barrier

38:12 Overcoming Fear and Embracing Success

39:49 The Power of Writing and Reflection

45:38 Developing Character Over Choices

01:03:53 Lessons from Failure and Resilience

01:10:20 Conclusion and Contact Information

Links:

• Learn more at bornsuperhuman.com
• Dan on IG: @dansmetcalfofficial
• Check out totalbalancecompany.com

Want support for perimenopause that goes beyond hormones?

Whether you (or your clients) are taking HRT but still having symptoms, not ready for it, or can’t tolerate it...there’s more we can do.

I’ll be sharing practical tools from a movement and rehab perspective, focusing on the nervous system, fascia, lymph, viscera, and musculoskeletal system.

If you want updates on workshops, resources, and strategies to support this phase of life more fully, would love you to join my email list.

Subscribe to my email list here

I’ll see you in 2 weeks!

PS:

If you are interested in being a guest on the show, please fill out the form here.

Transcript

mary: 0:00

Hello everyone. Dr. Mary here. Today we're gonna be talking about. How to rewire your brain, heal your body, and take back your control With Dan Metcalf and a little bit about Dan. He is a CEO and creator of Total Balance and Born Superhuman. After overcoming paralysis on stage during an Andrew Lloyd Weber show and reversing the effects of a partial brain death from a bicycle accident, Dan delved into the power of. Brain and mindset healing. To discover having now trained over 70,000 people, that we have a miracle in healing if we are willing to do the work, to be the difference. What we are going to learn in this episode is why your body is wired to heal and how to stop getting in its way. His seven pillars of natural health that optimize recovery, how to rewire your brain using visualization and belief instead of just hope. Why character not willpower or making the right choice drives lasting change. What happens to your cells when you have shame or love in your body? How trauma, illness and breakdowns can become the doorway to finding your purpose? Well, you might feel lonely after healing and how to support yourself while finding your new people. The difference between being supported and being held back by others. And how to recognize victim mentalities and how to shift into empowered action. What self-love actually looks like in practice, and why our culture profits off of disconnection and how to reclaim your power. This is a very powerful episode and gives you actionable advice that you can implement immediately to help you reach your highest potential. So if you're struggling with perimenopausal changes or you're going through something really hard right now. This is the episode for you, so I hope you enjoy and we'll get to it. Welcome back to TMI talk with Dr. Mary where we dive into non-traditional forms of health that were once labeled as taboo or dismissed as Woo. I'm your host, Dr. Mary Greenberg. I'm an orthopedic and pelvic floor physical therapist who helps people navigate perimenopause by addressing the fascia. Lymphatic system, musculoskeletal system, viscera and the nervous system. My whole body approach goes beyond hormone replacement therapy, showing how movement and rehab professionals can play a much bigger role in this process. And now we'll start our next episode.

Audio Only - All Participants: 2:24

Welcome to the show, Dan. I'm excited to chat with you today. Thanks Mary for having me on here. It's really a pleasure. Yeah, so we'll, we'll just go ahead and jump right in and tell me a little bit about what's your story that led you to create Born Superhuman? I. It is actually a fascinating story that everyone says, Dan, you should make a movie and or write a book about your life. So I'm very fortunate to have lived an incredible life that's been full of challenges'cause I'm a huge believer that challenges are essential to build the resilience and dig deep into who we really are. Um, so it started off, I was a kid. I had really bad asthma. My grandfather was a gp, brought me down an inhaler and'cause I wanted to be a professional footballer back in England soccer. And I took it and it helped. But something told me that I needed to know more about at the age of nine what I was taking. So I walked to the library and read about the respiratory system and it said that the body is made to heal. It will find a way to overcome the challenges. The same that we do with anything that we face in life. External. And if you take the inhaler, the body will be weakened to have to find it'cause there's a replacement. So I threw away my inhaler. And I would go to the park and I would run as far as I could, which was about 20 feet collapse, thinking I was gonna die'cause I couldn't breathe and lie in the grass. Looking back at my jacket going, if I can make it back, I know I'm gonna be great. And I ran the asthma outta me. I went to professional soccer clubs. I became a runner. All these different things. I'm a huge, again, going back and I studied this'cause of something else that happened. But we are all born to hear, we're all made to overcome challenges. If we cut our arm and we see it bleeding lightly, we don't freak out. We go, oh, I just clean it, put a bandaid over it, maybe, or keep the sun on it, get some oxygen and it's gonna heal. If we don't pick the scab, it heals the same system's healing us on the inside. But because we don't see it, we don't trust it. So I'm gonna jump real quick if I can, into how this all came about.'cause that's a little bit longer than I intended to say, Mary. But I ended up playing the lead in Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber shows Broadway shows. Um, you know, he, Andrew Lloyd Weber wrote Kat's Phantom of the Opera. Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph Technical Dream Coach Starlight expressed that I played the lead in and toured the world, uh, in, in four different countries. And during a show, I had an accident on stage and I was paralyzed. And the doctor said, I'll be disabled for life. And I was young, I was fit, I was muscular. Said if I wasn't as muscular as I was,'cause I kept, kept myself healthy, I probably would've broken my neck and it would've been, um, you know, quadriplegic. And then in 2018, even more recently, I was going through a guard gated security, um, center, and the guard bought the metal gate down on my head. At about 22 miles an hour, I was knocked unconscious immediately. I only know this'cause there's a video from the security cameras. I was unconscious for about close to three minutes. Um, when I phone finally came around, my whole body was like a computer rebooting. I could see my fingers trying to identify everything where it was. And I tried to get up, stumbling like a complete drunken fall. Um, and I had to learn to talk again. Had to learn to function properly, had to learn, train my brain to stay awake'cause it would just want to shut down. And nobody was really helping me outside of a little bit of advice unless I took drugs and I didn't wanna jump on the drug system'cause I believe that we are born superhuman. And sure enough, after I overcame that came back to where we are today. I'm like, I gotta share this message. We are all born superhuman. Let's stop being dumbed down and numbed down and start finding ways to unleash the miracle within. I love that. That's, that's incredible. And when you were paralyzed, how long were you paralyzed for? Yeah, so it took me more than six months to, um, come back to the point where I could actually function, um, without people seeing that I was, had some sort of disability. Um, just learning how to go do physical therapy, which was emotionally so in inside, I'm still the athlete, but I couldn't do what I wanted to and I'm fighting back. I'd have to learn to pick up a screw. I'd have to learn to pick up a nut. I'd have to try and line them up. It would take me months to learn how to put a nut back onto the screw. And they have me doing crazy things that were driving me insane. Um, honestly, if I tell, I always tell the truth. It was cheaper to disable me than it was to fix me. And I fought to be fixed and. The insurance companies were doing everything to try and prevent me or force me to have to, you know, be a, be disabled for the rest of my life. Well, when we're, it's, yeah, it can be definitely really humbling when you go through an experience like that and you have to break down these, I think we don't even realize the little fine details that we can do daily that people, we just kind of lose sight of, like you were saying, like a, a nut and a screw. Um, little details like that and how our fine motor skills are just so intricate. And I think these are the things that most people just kind of take advantage of and just not even realize it. And. I mean, physical therapy. Well, that was probably, was that occupational therapy that helped you with more of the screws? Yeah. Yeah. The fine motor will be more of that occupational therapy. And, um, yeah. And so what were some of the exercises that you were doing on your own? Like were you doing any strategies for your brain to help incorporate movement? What, what did that look like for you? Yeah, so I started actually with visualization. I, I went on to become a head coach on the Olympic program for soccer. And um, I really went back to actually when I was a kid and there was a guy by the name of Tom Armstrong who used to do visualization. I didn't think anything of it at the time. It was fun. But while I was lying there, I went, you know what? The stuff that he taught me was something that I could incorporate now. So visualization and starting to push the. Neural pathways of thought, which I teach to this day, to create the brain's ability to connect to different parts of the body. And I didn't even know what I was creating at that time. I just knew the results. So I'd start feeling tingling. That was a great sign. So when you feel there's a success on its way, you are willing to invest the time. And for anyone listening, I'm certainly not eccentric in any way, but I don't believe in hope for myself. I think hope is one of the worst words that we can use. But let me explain why hope is a procrastination word. Because hope is an external desire. It's a need, right? I hope my physical therapist, and there's great physical therapists out there, don't get me wrong, it's not a bash on physical therapy. It was a bash on the system that controlled the physical therapists. But if I hope they're gonna make me better, I'm not taking action myself. If I hope that you have a great day, that's fine.'cause it's not, I'm not in control of you. But if I hope I have a great day, I'm leaving the opportunity for external, um, forces to impact my direction. I remove the word hope and I replaced it with believe. If you believe it's an actionable'cause. If I believe it, I'm gonna go for it. If I hope I'm gonna wait. So I changed from the hope to, I believe I'm going to get better, which means I'm gonna take action'cause I don't have time to waste or to wait around. And I think that was really, you know, Mary, what happened, uh, uh, without even knowing that I was gonna move on to build born, superhuman and total balance. Yeah, I mean, I think we're not aware of how much our brain, I mean, we have like, we have a little pharmacy in our body, you know, it's meant to heal itself. But I have a little bit of a different opinion. I, I, I,'cause I'm somebody that like, I've taken medication to help me almost like, as a bridge to get to that ultimate healing. I think that medications and these things, depending on what people are using it for, you know, to just, I was blindly just kind of taking antidepressant for 20 years, you know, and then now I'm almost completely off of it. And it was hard. It's harder to get off than to go through chemotherapy. Like, and that is a strong, strong statement.'cause I went through chemo in, in 20, um, 19 and, and I just wish that somebody explained it to me almost like a bridge. Like, Hey, this is, like, this is gonna help you. Can I get to here? And then from here. You have the power to kind of understand your body and, and use these things to help your anxiety versus, I really dislike that anxiety is a diagnosis now. Um, it's a signal. Like so many of these things are signals, right? And, and what you're to, what you're saying is, is, is true, is that I think we do, I, I believe we really do dumb down ourselves. We numb out on social media. We put everything external. If we can't handle stuff, we throw it on other people. We're seeing this right now with everything happening with the floods and just the world in its state that it's at. And if we all can take our own accountability and say, I hope my physical therapist gets me better. Well, evidence-based medicine is the patient, the practitioner, and then research. So you're giving all of your power away. And I, I agree. I believe we give our power away and when we do that, and we're hoping nobody's coming to save us. And once the sooner we get back to that and understand that it, we're the ones saving ourselves, no one's coming to rescue us. Right. It changes your outlook, it changes the way your brain functions. Right. And so I, I love what you're saying'cause you're just, you're a fighter and you're like, I'm gonna figure this out and, and, and what you're talking about, I just think more people need to be aware of Yeah. There's so many things you just said there that like, light up different things in me because I could see you. You're like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, no, because it's so true. It's like when a fighter goes into the ring, you wanna surround yourself with those that can support you. You have your cut guy, you have your coach, you have your trainer, all these different people, but you are still in there doing the fight. You are taking the punches, but you are also fighting back or hopefully pushing back before they can hit you. Mm-hmm. Sometimes you are on the outside the ring supporting other people. But if you are always on the outside expecting someone to step in and fight for you, that goes back to when we were born and we signed a contract with society, not even knowing that we were signing it, that everyone had the intention for us, that people were genuinely, you know, gonna come and like you say, save us. But I do want to clarify something here. I think we're very much on the same page. When you said we have a different, I'm not anti-drugs at all. Mm-hmm. Right? Because I look at it, let's take a car battery. The car isn't starting, we have to jumpstart it. Yeah. And the jumpstart will allow the engine to then engage with the alternator that then recharges the battery. If the alternator's broken, we have to find a replacement.'cause the battery will continue to die. And sometimes we have to replace the battery.'cause maybe the cells have gone. What I am anti is replacement and dependency. Those are the two things. Yeah. So if I have something that needs a kickstart, take it. Because my body may not have the resources to get that system going, but once it does, know that you have the power to come back in because the environment, um, that we are in will affect us. But as I sent you privately, you know, before we started, the most important environment that we create is the one inside us first. And where we talk about being numbed down or dumbed down is because it goes down to business, right? People don't want you to think for yourself because then that means you're gonna hire someone to do the work for you. I urge people become educated by the right resources and then find your team that are gonna support you, not the ones that you think are supporting you, but they're actually holding you back. Because we are the greatest technology in the world. I. It's between your brain ears. It's your brain. If we tap into that and give it the freedom and permission to go to work, it's incredible what we can achieve. No, I mean, it's, it's insane because, you know, I mentioned this a lot in my podcast, is having illness for, I had chronic fatigue for 20 years, and then that ultimately, then I got cancer. And at those times I was eating healthy, I was exercising, I was doing all these things that were like textbook, right? And I kept being told, oh, your antidepressants, like, you're good. You can stay on it. All this stuff. And it just never sat well with me. I, I just, I could never, one of the worst, uh, recommendations I got was take, it was this medication that was a form of a roofie, take it to sleep, make sure at the time I was married, make sure your husband wakes you up if you're not breathing, and then you take a stimulant when you wake up. And I was like, I am not living this way. And I can't believe it took me 20 years to realize it was this chronic pattern that I was in, this chronic, how I was talking to myself, this victim mentality, this wo is me, this identifying with my anxiety. Like my anxiety is me, Mary equals anxiety. And, and it's taken such a long time to get to this point, but it's so crystal clear to me that our environments cause us to be sick. And so much of, of, now we're shifting to like wellness and biohacking and all this stuff. And I'm like, great, thanks. But if the, if your internal environment. Is not regulated. It doesn't matter what you put, it's like you're a foundation of your home. It doesn't matter how fancy your features are in your home. If your foundation is rocky, you're not gonna get the results that you want. And I feel like this is, we're just missing this, we're missing this in medicine, we're missing this in the wellness space. We're missing this in the biohacking space. I'm like, people are throwing tens of thousands of dollars, but the real answer is doing this inner work. Yeah. It's so, um, beautiful to see the changes that were actually unleashing people to think for themselves. You know, it used to be where you'd hit. I'd know what, 50 years old. So you go to the doctor and they say, we're aging. It's just the way it is. Yeah. Take this medication. Well, if people are living between men and women, let's put the average age at 75 and someone starts at the age of 50. You got a 25 year customer lifetime value, which is only gonna increase because now you're gonna become more dependent on more, um, additions to your, to your body, um, through the chemicals or the drugs that we take, which is'cause it's gonna numb down the body to actually do things itself. Where now they've started attacking into the, you know, 5, 6, 7 year olds with all the different a Ds. And it's not that it's not there, it's the approach for the solution. So now you've got a 70 year customer lifetime value. So again, it's not conspiracy theory. It's right in front of us. And the beautiful thing is now with people like yourself that have gone through so much and realized, hang on, there's more to the solution than just what I was told to take. And thank goodness you had the strength to turn around and say, I can fight back.'cause many people don't. You are an inspiration for those people by bringing it to light. Now we're gonna change the future of what's happening. That yes, there's a support system, but start with you. And there's something you said beautiful, which was, you know, you had the victim mentality. Well, I had the opportunity to have the same thing. And I have a saying that I love when I talk to people, why be the victim when you can be the hero? And the hero starts for yourself in recovery. It's not self proclaimed. It's actually happening in everyday life with what you're doing. And then you become the hero for others that didn't believe, didn't understand, or didn't know where to start. And they, in turn, when they follow a hero and then break into their own life, become a hero themselves to others, well then it, it uplifts humanity, right? It's just this, it's, it's really beautiful to see is in my clinic and the people that we work with at our office is, is that people feel really empowered. When people are ready to do the work, they want to do their artwork, they're open to it. That's where the magic happens, and it's incredibly beautiful. And then you see this thing and then they wanna help other people because it's been so detrimental to their lives. And so it's, when I talk about these things. I talk about them because I'm talking to my younger self, you know, like all of these things are, are things that I wish that I knew, you know, and, and I don't know what it was like for you, but I say this all the time, but Eastern and western medicine just don't talk to each other. And there's a lot of hate for both sides, and there's a lot of distrust on both ends. And I just think there's, like, I, I didn't know who to trust, you know? And so that's when you kind of gotta go inward and go, okay, well what, what is causing me to reactivate my fight or flight a million times a day? Right? I was skipping lunch to treat patients. I was barely using the restroom. Like when I worked at corporate, I. I was in a marriage that wasn't serving me. I was around people that were also in victim mentality. And I think this is also, I think, important, and I don't know what your experience was, but when I grew out of victim mentality, I outgrew a lot of friendships. I've grieved a lot because people that had been with me by my side for a long time are no longer here. Not all of them. Or maybe they, they're still there, but they don't understand. But they still support me. But I've had to evolve into other friendships that understand this type of work. And there was a gap there for a while where I was really lonely. Because you outgrew a lot of old relationships, and those new relationships aren't there yet. Did you have a similar experience? Yeah. Again, looking back on, you know, your younger self now, I looked at it and said everything that happened, you know, I think everything that happens to us, and you'll hear people say happen for us, which I agree, but I think everything's a gift. Depending on how we wrap it, because every level has its own devil and we can't expect people to have to understand what we're going through when they haven't gone through it. But when we continue to awaken to our strength, to the the important things in life, we suddenly change who we are. And we can outgrow not better than others, but suddenly our focus goes on to things that are more important because we've suffered. And it's great when people don't suffer. We look at it in today's world where kids are given way more easier and easily, um, than we were. But thank goodness I had the resilience to be independent, to fight for myself, to not wait to be given.'cause that enabled me to overcome these challenges. And certainly it got to the point where. And this wasn't in any way a detriment to anybody else, but I couldn't sit and talk to certain people anymore in my life, which was sad. But I looked at it and said, okay, now I'm gonna find my new tribe. Because this goes back to where you just started this, this, you know, conversation here. Um, self-love is not selfish. It's essential. It's critical to take care of you because once you do, you'll be happier. When you are happier and invest. We're not talking about narcissism here. We are talking about giving yourself a certain amount of time today to go to the bathroom that you were talking about to eat instead of serving everybody else. And there's studies out there galore that show taking a 15 minute break every hour, you will get more done in the next 45 minutes than you would working the whole hour because you're gonna burn out. Your break can only do so much. We need to rejuvenate and. Uh, and, and so I agree. Anybody that's in a stressful position, a tough life has to turn me around and say, I'm gonna have the discipline of time to give this, this is my time, and no one's gonna take it away from me. It does, it can be 15 minutes a day, but that 15 minutes is critical. No, I, I agree. I think that there's, so, like, I agree with also what you were saying before about there's some people you just can't talk to. I can't do small talk anymore. I'm just, I've seen too much, I've been through too much that I just, I wanna go have deep conversations with people and be real and talking about, you know, nonsense stuff or reality TV and things like that. I'm like, I don't, I don't have, I don't have capacity for it. I, I don't want to talk about it. I don't watch it. I, I don't, I just, I don't do those things. And so I think that. Well, what would you say? So one of the things that I had struggled with in my journey, and I'm interested to just kind of hear what you say, is everybody kept saying, just love yourself. Love yourself, love your body. And I didn't even know what that meant. And it, it's now, I love myself and I love my body, but it was a long journey. So where could somebody actually start loving themselves and what does that actually look like in like a day-to-day thing? Well, the dislike for ourselves, again, goes back to social messaging that we had really between the ages of one and five, when the brains really be informed. And when we look into the, um, science and the biology behind those first five years, it's amazing how those subconscious images. Continue through life. And then we get to a certain point in our teens where we become conscious. And a lot of this is either sexual consciousness or financial consciousness because we are now judging and judged relative to how we look and what we've got. And so when we allow the subconscious to take over, the conscious can't defeat it because the subconscious will always be active. So when it comes down to, um, looking at self-love, and, and I had to go through this in a certain amount as well because I lost everything that I had. That was my dreams, my future. And um, you know, there was a day where I didn't wanna live anymore and thank goodness that day passed. But, um, I look at, we have to change the subconscious by being conscious of what we're, we're actually thinking. And I look at it and say, what was the judgment patterns that we had? Why do I feel that way?'cause the only thing that we are best in the world at being that no one can judge us about is being ourselves. But that's only when we're our authentic self and we are proud of who we are. And when you look at the 80, 20 or 80% you won't fit and 20% you've gotta find that tribe. I'm either around the wrong people that are constantly putting me down'cause they want to hold me down'cause it suits them. And the only time we should ever look down on anybody is when we're giving them a hand up. Mm-hmm. And that's the only time. And so one of my specialties is rewiring the brain. It's a conscious decision to rewire the brain. And I have this whole methodology for it that's been phenomenal for myself. And then I've trained, you know, over 70,000 people and I look at, until the conscious becomes the subconscious, the subconscious will always win. So to start with, what is reality?'cause it is what we think. And if you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, I love myself, we will end up eventually not, and I'm not big into this whole, if you keep saying it enough, you're gonna believe it. You've got to believe it and say it because it's what you want. If I can go a little bit deeper into this, Mary, have you ever seen, um, the tests they do on YouTube? You can get the videos there where they take two seeds, plant it in a pot of soil, exactly the same soil, exactly the same sunlight, exactly the same water. And they write love on one. And they write the H word on the other, the hate word. Right. And they. Give love exactly the same, um, attention as far as nut nutrients. But one they give love to and one they chastise. They do it with water. And you'll see the change in the crystals just because of the energy that's coming in you. They'll do it with rice and see what happens. Anytime you give love, it's thrives. It's more pure in its energy, in its form. And this is scientifically proven. Have you ever been in a relationship, and I know you have, I shouldn't say that'cause you talked about your husband. Have you ever been in a relationship though, where you give love and the other person doesn't give the love back? Oh yeah. It's draining. And, and what happens to that relationship? Oh, it it, you build resentment and anger and it dies. It dies. Have you ever been in one where someone really wanted to be with you and you didn't wanna be with them and it became almost harassment, it could be at any age, and they're giving you everything and you don't give it back. What happens to that relationship? Same. It dies. Mm-hmm. So when we start looking at our body, we have to turn around and realize that our environment, the way we think will have a dynamic impact on ourselves.'cause it has an impact on others. So if you have an injury, if you have a sickness, you can't look at go, I can't stand my knee because that knee wants love to thrive. And if we reject it, our brain, our body, our system begins to remove that body part away from us. Because we are saying We don't like you, we can't stand you. All it wants is love. And so now if you turn around and say, you know what? My knee's hurting. It's okay. I love my knee. It's a, it's a success story in progress. The change in how it reacts, the change in what happens to us, the brain then goes it, I love it. It goes, I want love. We connect and it changes. Now let's go back to how we feel about ourselves. If our visual goes, I don't like how I look. And yet you take the time to look at it and go, well, I won't get better by chastising myself. You know what? I'm gonna find things about me I love, and it starts with my brain. If I can message the brain that I love, and that comes from a conscious thought process, the brain doesn't know the difference between reality and fiction. We've all had dreams. Woke up, thought it was real, and had to tell ourselves that it was a dream, but our body had the same physical reaction. Well, tell your brain what you want it to think. I want love myself. I love my brain. Every day I put my hand on my forehead, close my eyes. I love my brain. It will get stronger. I love my heart. It's my life force. Love your heart. It will get more oxygen going around your body with a positive energy. I love my body. I love the way I look. If you look back at pictures of 10 years ago where you thought you looked old or didn't look good, and then you look back and go, God, I look good at that time. Right. It's so funny. Oh yeah. Well, why didn't I love myself then? But now I'm loving my old self? Well, if you love your old self in 10 years time, you look back and love yourself today. Start today and start looking at the great things and be proud of who you are, and never be afraid to be you. Yeah. I think also too, from an energetic level, right? So when we, when we're vi, when we're, we're, we're energetic beings, right? And so we're made from atoms, and atoms have, we're have electrons, and those I met energy, and then all those are compounded within our body, right? And they make tissues and our muscles and all that stuff. And when we can love ourselves and, and work to kinda get to this point that you're talking, we emit a higher frequency. And, and that's what if people have never heard of that, that are listening, that higher frequency, it's like our own wifi signal. And if you don't believe in that, look at your cell phone and how we're able to, you and I are able to communicate when you're in LA and I'm in Austin and I'm able to see you and have this communication through energy, it's here. And we even use it for, um, imaging, MRIs. X-rays, CT scans. We don't use it for treatment, which I find is odd. And, and we, for somehow, we still don't believe it as a society, it's, it's woo. But, but we have these things that prove that it's here. And when you vibrate that higher frequency, all of your cells vibrate that higher frequency and they naturally start to heal themselves. And then when you emit that out, right, then you start attracting high frequency things. And so I love what you're saying because that's essentially like you're getting people to this level that if you're constantly saying you hate yourself, um, you hate your body and all these different things, like noticing like what you do. Genuinely love. Not even just'cause I tried the looking in the mirror and saying, I love you. And I was like, Ugh, this isn't hitting, this isn't hitting. But when you go to like truly loving and having gratitude for the things that keep you alive, that the things that allow you to do what you do, it changes. It changes your life. Like from a, like a cellular level and, and then everything around it's like magic opportunities start coming. You know, people just start reaching out and, and, and, and that's, people think it sounds like magic, but it's like we're emitting this wifi. And when you're in that low frequency, while your cells are kind of more scattered and they, they don't get the cohesiveness of feeling safe, so they stay scattered. So then that's when we kind of attract. You know, maybe in, when we're in that state, maybe we don't attract the right partners or the friendships and not blaming people for these things, but maybe we can start taking accountability when we know how we think interacts everything in our body and around us. Yeah, I mean, self shaming comes from your upbringing, right? How we're done. And, and so many of us, it's not that our parents didn't love us, they didn't know any different. They didn't know any better. And so self shaming becomes part of the judgment, and it's the worst thing you can do to yourself because there's no reason for it. As kids, we didn't self shame. We just grew up free until we were taught how to think. And when you find yourself self shaming, it's hurting And, and going to your point, which is a, a brilliant point here, Mary, when it's about energy. All of us relate to the cell phone. You brought up the cell phone. We think about, we wake up in the morning, it's a hundred percent charged. We got the green battery on and we're like, oh, great. We feel safe the whole day. We can communicate, we can do everything, but when it hits 20% and you see that red light, come on, we're scrambling. Where's the cord? I gotta plug the cell phone back in and then it goes to 10% and now we're panicking. Now I can't communicate. Then we plug it back in and we go, oh, it's up to 30%. Okay, I still better leave it. And it'll be like, it's 40%, it's 6%. And we get to, okay, I don't need to go a hundred percent. I'm 90%. And everyone listening to this will understand this feeling'cause we all have it. To your dynamic point. That's how we are as humans. Our body is so brilliant that it allows ourselves to function at 20% and feel normal because to begin with, we feel tired, we feel exhausted, but then we feel that every day and then we go, okay, that's just the way I am. Because we haven't plugged ourselves back in to recharge to 30, 40, 50, 70%, but no different than a cell phone. When it's a hundred percent, you're gonna have all your apps open and they're all able to go fast. But when it gets to 20%, you start closing down those apps because we're trying to save our energy. The ba, the Brain through our cellular health does the same thing. If we are not taking care of ourselves, we start shutting down the ability of the brain and the body to function at its highest level. And then we think that's the best we can be. We buy new cell phones'cause it's no longer functioning. We can't buy a new body. And that's why I created Born Superhuman. That's how it all came down. For the seven pillars of natural health that will help us function with a little effort, not a lot of effort, and theoretically no money if you do the right things. It's not about money. This is about self-care and doing what you should be doing. The seven pillars of natural health that we know, but we ignore. Prove that the magic we seek is in the work we avoid change the work you're avoiding and the magic sitting right there. I love that. Yeah. Anything that scares you, like writing down anything that you're fearful of and or you're repeated patterns of that shame, right? Like leaning into shame is so uncomfortable. And that's something that I, I've overcome a lot of shame, but it's still like, we're ongoing processes. We're never completely, you know, we're human in the human experience. There's always evolving and growing and things like that. And in that it's, it's so uncomfortable. And so say somebody leans into it, right? I, and it's so scary to lean into it. And if you don't have the tools to know how to regulate your nervous system, when you lean into it. Like, what would you say to somebody that maybe this is like the first time they're hearing this or maybe they've heard it before, it's new to them when they lean into it, it's gonna feel uncomfortable and, and very scary. So what could you tell them to kinda help them lean into that more? Because that's where the beauties on the other side of that. Well, you gotta learn to become comfortable being uncomfortable, right? That's the first part. That has to be a decision you've got to make. And we've gotta look at the character behind you. Am I willing to take on the challenges? There's a great story. Um, back in Rod, uh, the fifties, I believe it was, Roger Banister was the first man to break the four minute mile running. And people have been trying for, for so many years to do it. And do, do you know why nobody had done it before him? Because nobody believed they could. It was actually even deeper than that, but you're right. Oh, okay. Right. Yeah. Because the truth is once he did it, other people started doing it. So yes, there's a belief, but scientists actually said the body couldn't function and create enough oxygen to run a four minute mile. And this was scientifically stated that you would die trying to do it because you couldn't have enough oxygen. So there was this fear factor, if I don't, if I go there, I'm gonna die. And this is bringing back to your point, well, once he passed it, it changed the way science saw the human ability. But he had to be willing to push through to find greatness. Now I'll take this back to people that are scared to, to go in. Two things. What are you waiting for? Because where you are sitting. It's more painful than the journey you're going to take because all we need is one moment of feeling, some form of success, somewhere, going somewhere. And, and I will throw this in. I have a say in it's dynamic. When I coach athletes, I coach. When I coach business people or people with health, before every great breakthrough, there's a greater breakdown. That's the moment, that's gonna be the deciding factor. Whether you are willing to find the better you or sit back with the majority that say, I don't want to feel it. Well, what you're doing is you are giving up and saying, I'm gonna settle for this life that I don't love because I'm too scared to take the risk. But every risk taker is the one that breaks the glass ceiling, that leads new movements, that goes on and finds new discoveries. And, and I urge people, I see this all the time. If you're going through a challenge, write them. Write a diary. Put it down in writing, this is what it is. And at the end of that diary note, write, what do I want? What do I want? When you've written down everything that you're struggling with and it refocus your thought process, your neurons to change the way you go before you go to bed. And then I urge people when you get to the other side, write a book. We're not talking about a long book. It doesn't even have to be published, although it's so easy to publish these days because you are the driving force that shows the incredible humanity and ability that we have. And if you don't share it, you're actually not working towards something greater than yourself. And that comes down to our purpose. But I urge people be willing to say this, be smart. Don't just jump in. Although there's a great book by Mark Burnett, um, who's the, you know, creator of Survivor and The Apprentice and the Voice and all these different things. But he has a book called Just Jump In. I read it and it did change my life because what are you waiting for? But I would say, if you have fear, read it. Come up with a game plan. Say, this is what I'm gonna do. This is where I expect my sticking points to be. Because when you acknowledge it before you face it, it's not an unknown enemy. And then when it comes along, it's not as fearful. So the chances are you're gonna go through it quicker and with less pain. But then when something else does come along that you weren't expecting, that's tough. It's a new discovery. That can also be exciting.'cause you've realized you've overcome what you thought was your fear. I could go on, but you know, you get the idea. Yeah. Well I think that there's. People want big results with mediocre effort, right? I mean, everyone these days, like a lot, not everyone, like a lot of younger people wanna be a YouTube star and just like post stuff and then they'll, they'll give up after maybe posting like 10 times or, you know, the podcast arenas. Like, I think my podcast is in the top 10% simply because I went over like 20 episodes. Like the, the bar, I think people don't understand the bar is so low and everybody can do this. Like everybody has the capacity to do this. And um, just to kind of what you're saying is just understanding that, again, going, if you're doubting yourself, there's. It's in you, it's in all of us. And everybody has, the way that I look at it in, in my point of view is we're all on this journey. We're born, we experience a major trauma or some sort of grief, and we have two ways to go from that. We go to victimhood or we go to empowerment and we have a choice. And you could stay in victimhood, but then you never complete that circle and you stay there and then you wonder why you're not happy. And the people that make it to the other side are the people that have chosen a different life. They have chosen to see things in a different light, and, and they understand and they, they perceive the world differently. And so that's a common thing is that, well, everybody thinks they're special in their traumas and sure, some traumas are much more worse than others. But it's also that we all go through pain. We all have stuff that our parents did some worse than others, and, and. I believe so much too when we stay in this black and white, which is where our culture wants to stay. Like everybody that voted for X is evil and, and this person is responsible for this and that's it. And I believe the true light is in the gray area. And seeing people in their humanness and understanding like where they're at and, and when you can have compassion for others, that's a reflection of how you feel for yourself. Like if you're judging towards others, you're judging towards yourself. And, um, I just, I think more people just need to understand that they're more powerful and more capable then, and the systems that we have don't want us to know that because, you know. C unconscious, uh, capitalism benefits from it. Right? Don't get me wrong, like conscious capitalism is great, but like when you're unconscious and people are being taken advantage of and being paid really low and overworked and all these things, it's because they don't know what's possible. And if, if more people knew that there's a lot of gatekeepers around this. Yeah, it's, I mean, a stand that came up to me that I used again when I was training Olympic athletes before every great breakthrough is a greater breakdown, which we've already said, but a goal is only worthy of the effort it takes to achieve it. And I don't believe that it's as, like you said, it's as tough as it is. It's just making that commitment. But if I ask your listeners right now, I. Do you trust me enough to, you know, listen to, to what I'm saying, um, because I always speak from the heart, but I also speak from experience having trained so many people and lived it myself. And, and if I said to you, Mary, right now, are you on board with the stuff that I've said so far? Oh yeah, for sure. So I'm gonna say something now that you're gonna reject. Okay. And it came up because of something you just said, but it really ties in and I feel I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't at least give an opinion. You don't have to agree with me, right? You are gonna reject me and everyone listening'cause we've been brought up society to think this and, and you said it, which is why I wanted to at least give my opinion. So I'm not gonna tell you to agree with me. I'm just gonna say keep an open mind. Here we go. In life we don't have choices. And immediately, well, of course we do. I had to live this where I believed that I had choices. Choices for me are either an excuse or an ego, right? If I make the right choice, which was what we are taught, look how great I am. But if I make the wrong choice, well, it's not'cause I'm bad, it's because I just didn't do the right thing. It's an excuse, and I'll go into this a little bit more deeper. Yeah. Right. So it becomes a way for us to protect, well, I made the wrong choice. I made the right choice. Well, let's shift this. Let's change it. And I've worked with people on this and I've seen people that have been trying to give up smoking in 30 years, give up that day and never touch a cigarette. Alcohol, abusive relationships by changing the way we think. We don't have choices. What we have is character. The reason we don't want to rely on our character is it has to actually resonate who we really are. And when you look at, when you were going through your relationship, when you were going through your, um, anxiety and the, the drugs, it wasn't a choice that you put in there that made you change, your character shifted. You said, I don't want this anymore. And you became determined not to stop cold Turkey, but to turn and say, I'm going to wean myself off. If I said to you, here's a line of cocaine, and I use this example all the time'cause it reveals people, here's a line of cocaine, here's a hundred dollars bill. Go ahead and have a hit. You gonna take it Now, some people would turn around and go, yeah, but you already shook your head right there. And then why wouldn't you take it? Because I know I'd love cocaine, you know, and I don't wanna be addicted to it. I don't wanna, I don't want another substance that's not. Fueling my body to have any control over me again. So in that case, it's not a choice. Yeah. You, you've had it as that's not, even if it was great, I'm not gonna do it like someone in a relationship that cheats on someone else and then regrets it later. It wasn't'cause you made the choice to cheat on your partner for that moment of physical pleasure or excitement. Your character wasn't set to be committed to the person you're with, even though the other side may look kind of fun. We have to hold ourselves responsible. It's not alcohol that causes us to cheat. It's our character is not set. It's not our our choice to get drunk when we know it's gonna cause a problem or to go and do drugs when we know it's gonna make it hard to go to work. We haven't made that decision on who we are because when we know who we are, there's non-negotiables. And there's nothing wrong with learning that where I thought I was gonna go was wrong.'cause I have my character set here and I realize I'm on the wrong path. I didn't have to make a different choice. I had to say, I know I'm on the wrong path. That's my responsibility. I'm going to pivot and go on this path.'cause I know where I want to go and who I want to be will be guided by my, my character, not by my choices. And if people turn around and go, well of course I have a choice to get up early in the morning or not, that's actually your character.'cause this is one of the things I went through, Mary, when I, I said I need to find out whether I have choices or whether I have character. I want to actually live this. So I said, fine, I'm not gonna get up in the morning. It's my choice to stay in bed. And I stayed in bed and I lasted about three hours. I'm like, I can't do this. I gotta get up and move. I said, but my choice is to stay in bed, but I can't do it. What was revealed is who I am, who my character is. So anyone that says, and this goes back to your point, if you have a hard time starting or going through something, it's not because you're making the wrong choice. It's because you haven't developed the character to say, I know I'm good enough, or I'm willing to go through this because the other side is what I want. And so when you waver, it's like someone says, okay, I'm gonna give up smoking. And, and they go through the first two. Well, I'll just have one today'cause it's a cutback. Normally I have 10, so I had one. Well, tomorrow I've only had one. And if I did the second, I'll have two today, or I smoked twice today. It's only three. Normally I would've done 20. We are just constantly making excuses, but giving ourselves the um, praise that at least I cut back. But what you haven't done is said, this is not good for me. This is my plan. I'm gonna stick to it. So it could be, I'm gonna go from 10 to five in a day in the first week, and then three the next week per day, and then one, and on this date I'm stopping. You can do it'cause the brain is stronger provided the mindset is behind it than any drug you'll ever take. But you have to be smart. But when you commit to being you, you can do anything you want within your power. Well, what do you say? No, I, I agree with that. I also believe there's not like good and bad choices. I think things just are like where you're at, right? Like every choice that I made in the past led me to this point. And so it was lessons, yeah, it was just lessons that you had to learn from lessons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think of it from a spiritual realm of like, okay, these were doors that were shut or opened or closed, and that's the information that I had. And what do you say to somebody though, that they wanna develop their character, but what is, where would they even start? You know, the first thing that comes to mind for me is everything kind of changed when I run my business, when I knew my core values, right? So everything, every decision I make in my business, you know, one of our major core values is integrity. Like, are we standing in integrity when we do this? And is it, is this decision out of fear or scarcity? And if it is, that's not in integrity. And so, um. Would you, how do you recommend that to somebody? Like how can they develop their character? Like from a tangible level, you know what I mean? Like I think people have heard similar stuff, but like what is not similar stuff, but like maybe they've heard something similar but maybe they don't know how, how to incorporate that. Well the first thing is, you already answered the question in one phase, you said I established who I am. Right? Our core value integrity. Mm-hmm. That became a non-negotiable a thousand percent. Yeah. And so anything that challenged, that wasn't even a contemplation. I'm not gonna waste time evaluating'cause it doesn't fit who I am. And the problem is we're very good at defining, um, setups or placements. For things that are external of us because we don't have to face rejection because we're also going to get gratitude coming back from other people. We love that you're about integrity, so you'll find your tribe. The problem is when we stand up with non-negotiables, people reject us and we feel less, rather than seeing that we are actually greater than the level they're willing to accept. And like you said, you became lonely. You went through this, this time to come out the other side. If you wanted to keep friends. You can't find out who you are to keep all the friends that are around you today unless you've reached the level you're happy at and it all fits and, and you've, you know, awakened to who you are. But something that's tangible, again, if we turned around and said, put in a little bit of effort, not a lot.'cause we'll sit there like you said, and watch reality TV for two hours, but we won't actually look into ourselves and say, who am I? Who am I really? If you had two columns and said, what do I love? What do I abhor? And then in both, what am I doing?'cause what we love, often you'll find you're not actually doing. So I talk about creating the environment in your home that you love. If you love flowers, put flowers in, put music on from when you were a kid growing up when you had the happiest times. Play that music again. Your neurons will remember and the cells will remember the feelings and it will awaken them. And there's a brilliant video on YouTube that you can get with a lady that had Alzheimer's and used to be a ballet dancer, and she was stuck in a wheelchair and couldn't move. And they put on Swan Lake that she had danced to. She was a very high low. And suddenly she's sitting there and you see her wake up and her arms start coming up. If you anybody gets a chance to see it, look at, um, you know, lady in wheelchair with ballet dancer with Alzheimer's. And you'll see it and she becomes so alive for it. And then the music goes and she goes back again. That's us. So write down, what do I love? And what am I great at and what do I not like? And what am I doing in my life that I don't like? And write the list and do it over five days.'cause when you sit there and try and go, you're not gonna think of everything and just add this list, put it on your refrigerator and add to it and make it a game. Make it fun. And then go back and say, which ones am I doing? And make another list. I'm gonna do what I love and I'm gonna do what I have to do because I'm willing to do it right, because the rewards are gonna be great. I don't like doing, um, certain things out there, but I go and do it because I know it supports everything I love. And so I turn it around instead of saying I don't like doing and say I love doing it because of what it brings me. We changed the mindset in there. That's really something that's actionable. And you'll be shocked how many of the things that you love. Go back to when you were a kid. I loved roller skating. Why aren't you roller skating now? Well, I'm too old. Who said you're too old? Well, I could fall and hurt myself. Put on some, some knee pads, some elbow pads, a helmet, and go around your house if you have wood floors. Just have fun to realize I'm doing something. I love it. Wakes you up. What? Don't I? Yeah, I don't like, you know, doing the washing every day. Well, you have to do it'cause it gives you a clean house. But could you change the way you're doing it now? It becomes kind of fun. I'm gonna create, I'll do the washing on my roller skates. I know this is getting a little bit, you know, out there, but when you make your list, you'll see how you can bring it and you align back into developing the character then becomes non-negotiables. Can you change your character in a day? You can make a decision that I'm not gonna do this, and when the craving comes up, I know who I am. That craving is not greater than me and I've lived this, I've gone through it. Yeah. The craving is not greater than me. I'm gonna go through this and you'll be amazed at what changes so quickly. Because you've changed the neurological pathway and the way the synapse communicate with each other. I love that. I love it.'cause it gives actionable advice, you know, like where to start today. And another thing to kind of add on that I found super helpful is when you're doing that, like visualizing who you want to be, like who is she for? Like, or he or what, you know, whatever. And making decisions based on that, you know? And so if I'm struggling with, you know, for me, I'm trying to limit my caffeine intake, right? And so it's like, do I want in five years is do I wanna be like over caffeinated and stressed out? Like, no, do I like how I feel even the next day? Am I gonna sleep tonight? You know, and, and just making decisions on would my future self be proud? And that future self can be the next day, it can be in five years. And that's, that's basically, you know. What you're, you're, you're saying is like you're making these decisions based on your character. And if you want to be somebody that is successful and loves their lives and has this, I think the thing that's even wilder to me is realizing what life actually has to offer when you start embracing this because it's so, it's so easy to get sucked into the mediocrity bullshit. I mean, and when you to it, it's, it's so, it's so beautiful. And I think even, even like what you're saying is you're raising your, I like to look at a lot of this like frequent, like, like energy. You know, you're raising your frequency and so you're gonna, people see like, not even just you're gonna change. Your environment will change too. And I love another kind of spin to have it too is I was cleaning my house the other day and I was like, Ugh, I hate cleaning my house. And I was like, wait a second, I have a house. In 2025, you know, I'm 39, a lot of people don't have houses right now. This house has been so good to me. I'm taking care of it, you know, and, and it's spend it versus like, ugh, I have to do the floors again. You know, oh my God, I have beautiful wood floors. I'm gonna take care of them. And even just, I had to drop my car off today and it's like a$2,600 repair. And I'm like, you know, I don't have to buy a new car. You know, my, my car's been good to me for 10 years and, um, I. It changes everything. I, I love what you're saying because I, I totally, I completely and fully resonate with it. And, and that's it leads to emotional resiliency. Yeah. And again, I'm not saying this because of a fad or I'm trying to be different or coming from a different approach.'cause we all hear the similar type of stuff. It's how you package it, right? Putting it all together would determine the power that you have. And something that I love that you just said that you may not have, you didn't say, well, I made this choice. You said, I made this decision, right? Mm-hmm. And people say, well, aren't decisions choices? No decision is the direction. Right? I made the decision if I went the other way, it's still a decision and I will learn from it. It's not a choice. Well, let me flip flop. I try, oh, I'll try this way, I'll try this way. I'm going back and forth. Make a commitment to where you want to go, and don't make excuses or blame anybody else. This is all you and I, I call it the halo effect, right? It's HLOE halo, i, I called it highest level of excellence. Be proud of who you are. Like when you said, I want to try and find out who she is, or I wanna find out who he is, you turn around and go, okay. The only way I'll do that is in the moment was I my highest level of excellence. And that's not pressure, that's pride. Right. I'm proud of who I am. I love who I am, and if I let myself down, I'm not a failure. I was in a lesson and I go, next time I would want to behave this way and I'm gonna make a commitment to do it. And if I fail the next time in what I was intending, I just haven't learned the lesson nor committed high enough. You didn't make the wrong choice, which is what people would look at it. And, and I've messed up in business, I've reacted a certain way in a business meeting that's pushed people away from me because I wasn't determined in or or definitive, more than determined in what the end result I was willing to do. But what it was, was my character reacted in an emotional way rather than say, let me remove the emotion because what do we all want? At the end of the day, we want to have success. If I take it personally, that's a weakness in my character that I haven't yet established.'cause I wasn't listening to what the intention was. I was listening to the words that hit a trauma point in me. I love that. Sorry, go ahead. No, no jumping. I just, I love that.'cause you're, you're removing the shame out of it, right? I think a lot of the self-help world and things like that, when you don't do these things, there's shame like surrounding it versus, and we're already kind of festering and like working through that, right? Mm-hmm. Um, and when we're leaning into these uncomfortable patterns, so I love what you're saying is like, the lesson hasn't been learned yet versus I suck. You know?'cause'cause you're gonna do these things and, and, and you're not gonna, it's not gonna work out in the way that you think. And I don't wanna say the word fail'cause I, I truly don't believe there's any failures. I believe that there are like lessons, right? And so you get to decide what that lesson is and'cause my natural instinct is to shame myself and I have to go, no. I haven't learned, like there's something here that I don't know yet that's happening for me and, and I need to know, like I look back in my, um, PT business, we've been in business seven years now, and a lot of other people that started around the same time or after me have like multiple clinics or a lot of clinicians. And I used to look at that and I was like, man, how is it that I'm further out? I, you know, I'm really good at marketing and networking. I know business and all this stuff. And why is it that back then, like, why is it just not taking off like everybody else, you know? And I felt a lot of shame with that and I am so thankful it did not, I mean, it still did well, but it didn't take off like everybody else I was seeing. Right. And I couldn't understand, and I wasn't meant to take off then I'm meant to take off. When I'm more involved, because if I had taken off as more of a PT practice, not a whole body healing mind, body, soul meets modern medicine to truly heal from like a cellular level, now I get to be so proud of what I do. Versus before I was doing what everybody else was doing and expecting the same results, but realizing I would've burnt that to the ground if, if I took off that way. And, and it's so funny because it was so visceral years ago of, gosh, why is it just so hard to figure out business and all this stuff? And, you know, and, well, I had a lot to learn. I had to learn about systems. I had to understand how to be a better leader and, uh, develop these skills myself. And if it had taken off the way it did for other everybody else, I, I, I would, I wouldn't have evolved. I would've been miserable. So it's, it's funny'cause you don't see that stuff when you're in it. It feels so raw and painful. Yeah. Thank goodness. Not everything we wanted worked out. Right. Because when I, what I wanted at certain points, you know, you realize that. Destiny is a beautiful thing. We gotta trust the journey. But I've got a great story to tell you. I'd, I'd love to share this one if I can. Um, I was coaching a group of, uh, 10-year-old soccer players. I, I have a nonprofit organization for kids and I've put over 400 kids into division one schools and 40 have gone professional in soccer is my specialty. And, but so much of it was mindset training and how do we build this resilience. So I have this 10-year-old group of boys, some of'em are nine. We're playing in the state cup in, in southern California, which is the, the pinnacle of the season. And we show up and we're playing really well, but we lose to this Hispanic team. They were much bigger than we were. Um, you know, they had a big kid at the back, big kid at the front. The big kid at the back would kick it really longer than we could kick it. It would go over the top. The big kid would run through our defenders and score and we lost five two. They, but my team, anybody had a watch, they would've thought we were winning.'cause we were, we were great the way we were playing. We just did, weren't ready yet to finish the game off. We, we are learning. So we're by the field at the gate entrance where everyone comes in and leaves and there was like 20 fields at the finish. There's a lot of people, all the games kind of finish at the same time. So I pull my kids into the side, okay, everyone sit down, the kids are crying.'cause to them, this is the World Cup, this is the pinnacle. At the season, all the parents and all the hype been going on. I said, all right, kids come and sit down. I'm standing in front of them and all these other teams are walking by and my kids are crying. I said, what happened today? And they're like, we, we lost. I'm like, yep. What was the score? Five two. I said, okay, everyone put an L on your head. So they all lifted up their hand and put this L on top of their head. And my parents are like, what an ass of a coach fancy doing this? And all the other parents are walking by going, what an ass. Why would a coach do that? Shame the kids have'em feeling they're already crying. Why are you making it worse? And people walk in. They would never play for me. I said, all right. What does that stand for? They said, losers. I said, yeah, unless that L stands for learning. Mm. I said, that's your decision in life, because we didn't get what we wanted today. I said, but I was so proud of you. I said, you played so well. And people will look at it and say, you lost today. I said, today wasn't the end of your journey. Today was a beginning of the next step. I said, so we didn't win the game. But you can never lose ever in life if you learn. You've got to see the lesson and lesson starts with an L. The same as learn starts with an L, combine them together. Now my parents are like, whoa, we love the coach. You know, look at our coach. And I'm thinking, all those parents that left behind didn't hear my talk. They will never play for me. But it was so dynamic, and I look at that for all of us. We cannot lose when we learn. I've gone through lawsuits where it cost me over$300,000 to defend a defamatory lawsuit, which was full of lies and fabrication. That took seven years to claim. I had to take out money. I did everything to defend my name, and I wiped them clean. As much as I knew the truth. The truth didn't show up until the day that it was meant to. I. Because people believe what they want to believe. But I knew with the things that I was accused of complete, it was an ex-business partner that didn't do what they were meant to do and very, very wealthy tried to deflect it back onto me when other people asked for money and stuff and other lawsuits he had going on, I as the only person that's ever beaten him in court'cause he's very wealthy. But I stood by my character. I had to turn around and said something. It was gonna cost me all this money. I'm like, it doesn't affect me. That's just his opinion. But what he accused me of was my character and I took out loans. I sold stuff I did to defend my name in court and ICI destroyed him in court, destroyed. I never actually got to court. He ended up walking away, but everything was online because I had to say, this is who I am. I know that's a non-negotiable. Yeah. If you've got an opinion of me, that's your decision. I can't change your opinion except consistently be who I am. And that's the only way it would change if you see something. But if you accuse me of being someone I'm not, that is a non-negotiable. And I will stand and I will fight back because I know who I am. If we turn that around to what's happening in life, see the lesson, learn the lesson, make it non-negotiable that something's gonna control me out of the two things that we always have control on, which is our effort and our attitude, no one can tell. I look back to the, um, Holocaust, and Dr. Edith talks a lot about this. She's a, a great, she went through it, is that they could tell who would survive the Holocaust in the, um, Auschwitz and in the, um, prisons by the attitude and the effort that they put in that couldn't be taken away. Now, of course, they could be great and still be exterminated. But the ones that came out of there were the ones that could not be broken. Think about that. In life, we're all in the game of life and everyone says in games mindset is the difference between greatness and great and eventually great test. So if we can take that in our life and say, I'm in the game of life. My mindset is critical, I'm gonna stand up and put in the greatest effort and the greatest attitude to be who I am, it's unbelievable what we can do. And again, going back to the seven pillars of born superhuman, the seven pillars that will give you the resources to function at your highest level. And, and pillar number six is actually mindset. And I put that sick in the level of, of dynamic impact. And yet it's the first thing I teach because if we teach mindset, all the others will fall into place. I love that. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's, there's no other way in my opinion, and everything just kind of is, and then we get to decide who we wanna be. So thank you so much for coming on. How can people learn about you if you want to let them know what, how they can reach you? Yeah. And any programs that you have. Yeah, it'd be great. I've got a lot of programs. I've got three programs as well just to help'cause within the seven pillars, and if I can say this really quickly, the Seven Pillars dynamic is hydration. Then we have, oh, sorry. First one is oxygen breath work, which is huge for anxiety. I. Right. It's so dynamic. We scientifically, I, I love to go deep on it, but maybe another time. So oxygen, then hydration, then sleep, then nutrition, then you have exercise, then you have mindset and you have challenges. You can find out all about those by going to born superhuman.com'cause we're all born superhuman. And then I'd love for you to check out total balance company.com. This is Total Balance was created for one celebrity. Um, but I, it's changed the world because our brain body connection is critical. And this has been proven, um, through so much research to be the greatest way to maintain our quality of life. And then you got Born Superhuman on Instagram and Dan Metcalf official on Instagram. I'd love to hear from anybody. I'm here to help and serve. Perfect. Well, thank you so much for coming. It was a great conversation. Congratulations to you, Mary. You're amazing. Oh, thank you. You too.

1:11:44

Thank you so much for listening to my podcast. It would be a huge help if you could subscribe and rate the podcast. It helps us reach more people and make a bigger impact. I would also love it if you could join my email list, which is LinkedIn, the caption for podcast updates, upcoming offers and events. You can also find me on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram at Dr. Mary pt. Thanks again.