Episode 38: Unlocking health and career success without the grind with Anjel B Hartwell

Dr. Mary dives into the unconventional relationship between our professional lives, limiting beliefs, and our health, particularly focusing on women's experiences. (Previously episode 9 of season 2) 

Joined by Anjel B. Hartwell, a visionary founder of Creative Age Consulting Group and the Wickedly Smart Women's Podcast, the conversation explores Anjel's transformative journey from a high-pressure real estate career to empowering women through understanding and balancing masculine and feminine energies. 

They discuss the physical impact of hyper-masculinized societal pressures on women’s health, touching on chronic issues like pelvic pain and the importance of marrying both energies for a healthier life. Anjel introduces 'The Five Ways Women Ward Off Wealth' and shares actionable advice on stepping out of restrictive professional roles while fostering a wealthy, balanced life. This insightful dialogue aims to inspire women to reclaim their health and professional joy by realigning their lives in a nourishing and impactful way.

00:00 Introduction to TMI Talk with Dr. Mary

00:28 Guest Introduction: Anjel B Hartwell

02:14 Anjel's Journey: From Real Estate to Spiritual Awakening

06:46 The Masculine vs. Feminine Energy

07:46 Health Impacts of Professional Life

08:25 Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

11:16 Empowering Women: Voice and Value

19:01 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies

21:39 Marketing Strategies: Masculine vs. Feminine Approaches

26:56 Balancing Structure and Fluidity

28:13 The Body as a Metaphor for Business

29:39 Challenges for Female Business Owners

31:43 Five Ways Women Ward Off Wealth

35:20 The Importance of Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences

40:17 Taking the Leap: Transitioning from Corporate to Entrepreneurship

46:05 Conclusion and Resources

You can learn more about Anjel here and check out her podcast Wickedly Smart Women

If you have any other questions or topics you want to talk about, send me a message on Instagram. And if you loved this episode, please leave me a rating and a comment with your feedback. Please share this with your friends and loved ones, too!

I’ll see you in a week!

Transcript

Audio Only - All Participants-3: 0:00

Hello everyone. And welcome back to TMI talk with Dr. Mary. As always, we are going to be diving into an unconventional approach to health. And that is our professional life. We're going to be talking about how a draining job and limiting beliefs in our professional life, especially as women can really affect our health and even pelvic health. I know this is something that I have dealt with myself, and I am incredibly excited. To share this information with you today, we have Anjel B Hartwell, and she is the founder and lead visionary of creative age consulting group. She is the wealthy life mentor and is an internationally known speaker and transformative artist. She is the, be the change movement to watch award winner and as one of America's. Premiere experts. She is a creator of the apple top 50 ranked men on purpose podcast, which she sold in 2020. She's the creator executive producer and host of a 14 time award winning apple number one internationally ranked podcast called wickedly smart women podcast. And the newly released top 50 internationally ranked three times award. Winning leading visionaries podcast. She is also the author of the number one release in three categories and a four time award winning book called be heard by millions and live your destiny. And she is hired to consult with high achieving leaders who are called to be the vanguard of the creative age. We are excited to have Anjel here.

1:37

Ready to tackle the topics that you've been curious about but never felt comfortable asking? With a straightforward, no nonsense perspective on life, blended with candid stories and a healthy dose of humor, Dr. Mary Grimberg cuts through the fluff and addresses the conversations we all need to have on TMI Talk, where no subject is too taboo. Our bodies, our minds, and everything in between. Now here's your host, Dr. Mary.

Audio Only - All Participants-1: 2:06

Welcome Anjel B Hartwell. I am so excited to have you on the podcast. Thank you so much for having me, Dr. Mary. Yeah. Well, I figured we just go ahead and jump right in and have you explain a little bit about your story and what led you to empower women and break through their limiting beliefs. Well, I actually spent 20 years in the real estate business and I was very masculinized, I was a woman in a more masculine field. My last project was 51 single family houses, 56 apartments in an office building with two partners. And then I had a spiritual awakening and that spiritual awakening led me to leave behind that career and to start to explore a whole lot of latent parts of myself that I didn't know existed. So as a result of that awakening, my healer arrived, my author arrived, my performer arrived, my like, All of these, my artists derived all of these latent parts of myself. And there was a period of time where I spent really two years after I left real estate, just immersing in discovering myself. And as a result of that, Discovering myself, I discovered a lot of things. One, I had been highly masculinized by society and culture and number two, I didn't really understand what the feminine was at all. Not only did I not understand the feminine, I was actually averse. I was like, get that away from me, right? In this spiritual awakening period, it became clear that there were, there was just a whole other world. To me that I didn't know existed and I gave myself permission to explore that world and then as a result of all of that exploration, once you go to the mountain, you have to tell, you have to come back and tell other people, Oh my God, there's a mountain here. Let's go, let's go see the view together. And and so that really led me into starting to work with women primarily, although I have worked with a few very wise men my work has primarily been with. Women all over the world and a lot of what I ended up working with people on was the voice helping them to feel great speaking and powerful asking for money. Your work is the other throat, right? But the throat chakra and the sacral chakra are very interconnected with one another. So I love that. I had a massive spiritual awakening April of last year. And that's when I just paused on everything I was doing and just thinking what, Oh my gosh, like you just said, I have to discover this. I have to tell, and not everybody's ready to hear it sometimes. So that was also Honing in on, okay, well, how can I find the right people to share this with who are ready for it? And for me, it's not about religion. It's more about tapping into our highest self and our truth and how powerful we are when we know that. And our society focuses so much on hyper masculinity and women too. Like we're independent, we don't need anything. And then it's then we develop all these like sicknesses and just cascade of so many different things. Absolutely. Well, and yes, our society is hyper masculinized and yes, many of us have been really damaged physically really damaged. And what's interesting is the body is incredibly resilient, and it will give you signals. I mean, my body has been giving me signals for years, but it wasn't until I left behind real estate, started in the personal and professional development track, began my own journey, began working with other women to help them to dismantle this cultural conditioning. And then Even when I had, even when I had so much joy and so much benefit from the experience of the demasculinization, there was still a very strong part of me that continued. down that, down that path, even in my own business until eventually the body was like, done. The body was like, yeah, no, we're done. We're done. And, uh, I think one of the things that's important to remember is that we are both, we're both physical, our physical bodies were made by a man and a woman, right? We're both. Aspects. And the work is less, I think now for me at least, and for the people I work with, it's less about completely denying our masculine side or completely denying our feminine side and more about how do we marry the two together and have them work in unison in a way that's incredibly healthy. And my health journey in 2000 18, I realized I, I just, it was done. I was done. And I spent. Most of 2018, like 20 hours a week, just working on health. So it can be bad if you don't, if you don't pay attention to those things. Well, we're not taught, as society is just at least in the U S right is go profit, which, Hey, I'm all about making money, but not at the expense of my health. And I've seen this in my. PT clinic, a lot of women in highly masculine fields, like maybe real estate or software sales or like these, or even just high up executives. I see a lot of chronic pelvic pain unknown chronic illnesses that they can't seem to figure out. But at the same time, there's these golden handcuffs, right? Like how am I going to make the kind of money that I'm making? How am I going to do that? And that was something I've noticed is just, which goes to our next question is what are some common limiting beliefs you've seen in high achieving women? Because I know I've dealt with plenty, right? Well, 90 percent of them have imposter syndrome. And partly because I think that we are acting as imposters if we are trying to be men in women's bodies. Oh, I love that. If you're, if you are being an imposter, if you're trying to keep up with the boys. And I remember when I was 16 and I got my first car had a 400 engine and I would. I'd sit at the stoplight and the boys would come next to me and I'd be like, I was always out to beat the boys because, that was the way we were trained. We were trained to believe that boys were better and that we needed to prove ourselves to be even better and be playing on their field rather than. Our own field. So number one I find imposter syndrome. Number two, I find many high achieving women really diminish their accomplishments. Yes. Really diminish the value that they bring. A good example is I had a client that came to work with me. Couple of years ago, and she was one of those women. She owned a construction company. She bought a 48 million company with no money of her own. I mean, that is just like mind blowing, right? She bought a 48 million company with no money of her own and ended up getting pushed out of the company by the men. Who ended up, being part of that whole thing. And ultimately how she and I started to work together was she decided that she wanted to start her own company, her own consultancy, her own thought leadership business. And she had enrolled in a coaching program that was one of these big name. And it was a man's name, big man's name coaching programs where the coaches on the team were telling her that she needed to find 10 clients to pay her 250 an hour. And it wasn't working. It wasn't working. She wasn't getting any clients, no matter what she did. And she ended up hiring me and she invested probably about 60, 000 to work with me. The very first thing I did was I said to her, There's no way that you are ever going to be working with clients for 250 an hour. You bought a 48 million company and ran it. Okay. Your value doesn't match with 250 an hour. I don't care what industry you're in. I don't care whether you're taking your skills from X industry and putting it over into Y industry. Coaching clients and so the first thing we did was we looked at everything that she had created in her life And we distilled it into something that she could communicate the value of at a twelve thousand dollar price tag and you know It, it worked. She got her first 12, 000 client after over a year trying to get 250 an hour clients. And so the second thing that women do is we grossly undervalue what we have to offer. And then the third thing that I think that is a challenge for high achieving women is that we ceiling ourselves. So if you look now at The where most of the money is in the whole world, right? It's in the hands of a very few mostly white men That's where the vast majority of the money is and women Inherently even those of us who have been masculinized Inherently we are wanting to be in community and to care for each other. That's just something that can't be stamped out, no matter how hard the patriarchy tries to stamp it out. We inherently want to do that. Unfortunately, what we do, though, is we tell ourselves internally that level of huge money is far beyond what we're capable of stewarding or caring for or having or dealing with, right? But the truth is, if billions of dollars were in hands of conscious, Caring women, this world would look incredibly different. Oh, I feel that because I myself have dealt with incredible imposter syndrome and it's, we're living in a world that wasn't made for us. And this isn't shitting on men. There are plenty of great men in the world, but at the same time. That like you're saying, the people in power, the people running these massive companies and everything, it's hyper masculinized in this go go culture, which essentially is slowly killing all of us, all of it, all of us, not even the men, it's now rapidly killing. Rapidly. That's why I was like, I have to get this podcast out. I have to talk about these things because yeah, I can treat somebody for pelvic health in the clinic, but if they're going and working 80 hours a week go, got to crush it. Got to make all this money. Got to keep up with the men. Your body says no. Your body stops. That's what Gabor Mate's book is when the body says, no, I don't know if you've read it, but that book really helped transform my life because your body will stop you. And then we think of it as oh, why is my body against me? And I thought this because I had cancer back in 2019 and I was so mad at my body and looking back, it was a gift, right? Obviously it took some time to get to that point. I wasn't like, oh, gift. Great. Chemo. Love. No, it was okay. Buckle down, let's figure out why this shit happened and how to move forward. But it is literally, it's a epidemic, maybe even a pandemic, I'd say of women suppressing their talents. So many women I know I'm like, please. Put your information on a block. Do put yourself on social media, like something, get this out here. Cause your perspective is invaluable, but inherently they think no. That's for my husband. That's for my brother. That's for this. That's the underlying subconscious kind of theme, right? Like it's not my season. I don't have the money or. I don't do money. I don't do math. I don't do math. Yeah. And then there's also this, who would want what I have? Who would want that? Who would want that? Who would want that? And if you're listening to this and you're stuck in a job you hate and you're drained and you think who would want that. We do. I do. I want to hear it. I want more authentic people in this world and women's voices. So I think that's, spot on what you're saying. And so going back earlier to what I was mentioning earlier about a correlation, with health issues and suppression of self, I see this pop up in neck pain and pelvic pain. What do you see? Well, I see it as people not speaking, right? So, which is the neck pain, same thing, not speaking. And I also see it as not moving, right? Which is the pelvic pain. Not taking action, not moving in the direction of what you're called to do, or in the direction of your dreams. And I think one of the things that happens too, which is just now coming to me, Mary, is that when a woman is called to do something different, whether you're listening in the corner office right now, or in the corner of your living room when a woman is called to do something different, there is a, a holdback, I think that. They don't want to replicate the same pattern that got them to whether it was burnout or pelvic pain or neck pain. They don't want to replicate the same pattern, but they don't necessarily see a different way. And so it holds them. It holds them locked in. the pelvic area from taking any kind of movement or taking any kind of action. And one of the beautiful things about those of us like yourself and like myself and many mentors that I've had the pleasure of being mentored by, there are women out there who are doing it a different way. Yes. Initially I tried to put the pedal to the metal with my business and. It's my body stopped me. The body will continue to give us the signals. The body will continue to show us what's healthy for us, what's not healthy for us. And it's up to us to continue to make the, take the actions and make the choices that prioritize our wellbeing. So if I'm prioritizing my wellbeing and I look at a schedule that says I'm speaking, I'm doing podcasts, I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing this. And I have no room in there for a walk in the woods, or I have no room in there for making my own food because I'm not going to buy crap. I'm going to make my own food. It's up to me to actually set the stage. for my success, for my greatest well being and to learn to trust that even in this world it is possible, there is actually more than enough for all of us, it is possible for us to be able to craft a world that works for us for us as individuals and the more women who make those choices to start to feel great speaking, to start to feel powerful, it Asking for what you want, saying what you want, saying what you need, setting yourself up so that your wellness is your top priority. Your wellbeing is your top priority. The more of us do that, the more other women have role models and the more we chip away at the entrenched belief that we have to do it. the masculine way. One of the things that I like to work with my women on is what I call your wealthy life and the wealthy life is more than just the money. It is the sum total of all of the resources that we have available to us. I like to use the mnemonic device thief, T H I E F, because we're often stealing from one or more of these areas. Time, health, Imagination, which is a combination of our intellect and our and our intuition, the ecosystem of exchange, which is where we have the money exchange with people, but it's also where we have collaborative exchange. Like right now, you and I are in our ecosystem of exchange with each other. And then fun. With our friends, our family, and fellow travelers on the journey. And all of those resources have to be prioritized, not just the money, in order for you to have a wealthy life. Yeah. I think that's so key because So much of our society is, Oh, I don't know if I should spend that or do that. And most, I mean, for certain things, some people maybe may not be able to afford it, but for some people it's actually a limiting belief that they can't. And so then it's manifested that way. And so then that's their life is constantly circling fear of money, which then energetically blocks your money in the first place. And then this. Full expansion of self. And this is something I've actively struggled with and moving through, but I'm leaning into it and moving through it versus letting it control me. I saw something the other day, it was courage or fear, and it was no courage. And fear. And so I just announced, so, for people listening, you record these podcasts in advance, but yesterday I just sent the launch of my pod rebrand of this podcast out to a bunch of people. And I was scared. I was anxious. I was nervous all day. I keep checking things and be like, Oh my gosh, you're going to get a hater and you're going to get multiple haters. I'm sure. But like the collectively, like what is the response and the messages that I've gotten are, wow, you're a force of nature and you're really inspiring me to come into my own. And I. Just, I just, let me feel that. Let me just soak that up because this is beyond me now. So it's like what you said is the more women we can do this, it's like pumping me up to be like, Oh hell yeah. Then if I'm inspiring other women and we can lift up each other. Great. But it is scary. But it's so possible and I wouldn't trade this for anything else. And it's addicting. You want to get more people out there to know, Hey, and so many of these coaching programs that I've, I had been a part of in the past, I just stopped using because it was hyper masculinized. Don't tell people the price, just get them on the phone. And then this and this, I'm like, just tell people to put it on the website, transparency, kindness. We don't need to promote extreme scarcity or fear. Like how can it be a decision they feel excited about and wanting to look forward to that resonates with me more, but so many people in business are scared because they don't like those tactics. They're aggressive. And I find that's why women avoid it sometimes. Cause they don't know that's bro marketing. Well, and I think one of the things that I've seen in, uh, I, I don't know, femme marketing? Yeah, I don't know. One of the things I've seen in femme marketing is too loose, too loosey goosey, too all over the place, too oh, just flow. And I'm here to be an advocate for, yes, we want the river to flow, but it flows between the banks. right? The only way the river can flow is if there's banks to metaphorically as well as literally, right? And the banks are really the structure that allows the river to be generative. So I think that it's important to not throw the baby out with the bath water on either side. And instead to look at how does it work best for me? How does it work best for me? And when I first started doing sales, I learned from a guy. I learned from a guy. And he was very clear about you don't give them the price until you've done it. whether or not you even want to work with them. Okay? Because just because I put a price out there doesn't mean, especially if you're working with people intimately, doesn't mean that you actually want to work with that person. So the price can be a Guardrail, let's put it that way. It can be a guardrail that allows you as the business owner to be discerning in the sales conversation about whether or not there's an energetic fit, whether there's a mindset fit, whether there's a, uh, an enthusiasm fit with whoever it is that you're talking to. And so, I think that it's important to remember that pricing and how and when you deliver pricing can be a beneficial boundary if transmitted correctly. Okay? So I think part of it is in the transmission. If the person on the other end of the line who's in a sales conversation with you is Transmitting desperation, you can feel it if they're transmitting superiority, like I'm better and, I'm not interested in talking down, if they're talking down to you, that's, that you can feel that, so I think it's a little bit more nuanced than, Give the price or don't give the price. Oh, for sure. I was just giving an example of if you don't feel comfortable with a certain type, like what does that feel like for you? Cause you can still sell and you can still do these things in a way that feels good for you. For instance, like the traditional PT marketing would be like, Barge into a doctor's office, give them buy, spend all this money and buy all this food for them for lunch. And then you're just waiting for them to pay attention to you. And I'm like, I'm not doing that. Like I'm not selling myself in that. So that's uncomfortable for me. What feels better is to connect with them via maybe like a social media and then be like, Hey, do we connect? And if they want to meet then. We can grab coffee or whatever it is that has grown my business substantially. The other way just felt like walking into somebody's home and begging for their attention. And that did not align with me. But I agree with what you're saying is it's my whole thing was more of yeah, this between this hyper masculine and then hyper feminine, like both people can be in the, or you can be in this. A little bit of both one and not. Let it control what you do in a way that doesn't serve you. And so I like for people listening, so some people may not be aware of what you're meaning by masculine and feminine. I think a lot of people just think men and women, but there's so much more energetically that goes with the masculine energy and the feminine energy. Can you dive in a little bit to that. And, I think all definitions. At the end of the day end up being transcended by what's actually happening in the moment. So for me, highly masculine or masculine energy is more rigid. It's more structured. It's more like I spent 20 years in the real estate business and. Uh, at the end with that project that I did with two male partners, I was handling the money piece. So literally I was putting zeros and ones in boxes. I was putting, everything was going into a box. It was all being structured and it's logical and it's rational and it's, everything can at its extreme, it's like just steel and gray and no beauty. There's no beauty. It's all, Rigid and lines and squares, right? The more feminine is You know, brained, it's holistic, it's multidimensional, it's colorful, it's creative. But, I have friends who, if I share a hotel room with them, it literally looks like an explosion happened when I walk in the door. Because they're so flowy. Their clothes are all over the place and, their suitcases exploded. And I think that there is a place in between where we can bring in the structure and the fluidity, just like I was saying about the river and the banks, where we can bring in the structure and the fluidity for, to create something, a third way that is more alive. And if we're going to talk about the body's only purpose is to be alive. The body wants to be alive. So if the body is spending too much time in rigidity, it's going to be You know, it's going to start dying. The cells are like, Oh, we're not moving. We're not going anywhere. We're just going to start dying. And if the body is spending too much time in total flow, we have skin for a reason, right? We have skin to keep part parts of our muscles and our veins and all that stuff in. So I think that the body is a beautiful metaphor for where we can build our businesses and our lives where it's this beautiful blend, right? I like to think about the cell wall, right? The cell wall is a boundary, but it's a fluid boundary, right? The wall of the cell allows some things in and keeps other things out. And so I want to build my business. I want to serve my clients. I want to help them build their businesses in ways that are beautiful unification where there's an aliveness. No, I love that. I think. But yeah, there's such a blend. That's why you see so many creatives unable to build businesses. There has to be structure, there has to be some form of a sale. Showing who you are and seeing if that aligns with that person. And so if we stay more in that, I see this a lot in health and wellness and artists and music. And then you see we've already talked about like real estate and say software sales and all that stuff tends to be hyper masculine. And so just the two of those together are needed. And so I. I think that we don't think about business. In a way that serves us sometimes, for instance, like female business owners And for some reason they think they have to take. Every single client and deal with a lot. They deal with a lot of abuse. There are certain types of people that if they talk to our front desk a certain way, I'm like, Hey, there's another facility down the street. Cause there needs to be mutual respect. And there's this been this saying of the customer's always right. Which I think is bullshit because I'm not going to take. blatant disrespect because you're a paying customer. Cause I'm going to have to, first of all, if we're even thinking of it from a logistical standpoint, I'm going to have to take the money that I got from that client and go to therapy. So that takes probably have to pay for extra therapy for your team too. You aren't, you're that's a losing proposition right there. It is, but you're not taught that in these hyper masculine, they're like just get the money. Like it's a transaction. What's the profit. And I'm like, Well, well now I'm drained for the next client who actually needs me. And so we've done that. It was, we rebranded our clinic and just be like, who is right. And who's aligned with us. They will come. And we just continue to do what we're doing. But I think that's a big misunderstanding too, is I'm going to have to deal with more shit. And if you line it up, can, you get to choose, right? And this goes back to the belief that we have to do it the man way. You know what I mean? This goes back to the belief that we aren't actually permitted to create our own reality. And I'm here to tell you you're permitted to create your own reality. I actually have a list of five ways that women are warding off a wealthy life and. And how we can change that is to flip these things. So if you're worrying, worrying is one of the five ways that we ward off wealth. If you're worrying that if I don't do it X way, then I'm not going to make money. If you're worrying, I'm, if I don't do it, if I don't take these people, even though they drain me, that then that's what's going to happen, right? Whatever you're worrying about, you're going to bring about. Uh, and if you're worrying about making enough money, then you're going to bring about the circumstances where you're not making enough money. So that's one of the ways that we ward off wealth. The second way that we ward off wealth is by withdrawing. And that's like having the big vision, getting the calling, but being stuck in your pelvic bowl, not moving. You know what I mean? You're pulled back, your energy is withdrawn, it is held in, and many women have been traumatized by the culture, never mind our own family backgrounds or whatever, life experiences, to be withdrawn, to shrink ourselves, to hide ourselves, to, collapse in on ourselves. And if you're withdrawn, the world can't, the world can't give you what is here for you to take if you'd like it. or to receive if you'd like it. The third way that we ward off wealth is by waffling. So if there's a decision to be made and we are unable to make that decision, We're not, again, it's the not moving, it's the not moving, not making the decision, being stuck in this place of indecision. And I like to use the example of if, let's say you're at a, an entrepreneurial event, and you hear the speaker and the speaker's sharing something that is going to make all the difference in your business. And they say, Oh, it's 10, 000. And then you go to the ladies room while they're, Processing all those other people that are paying the 10, 000 and your best friend sends you a text that says, you know that trip to the Mediterranean we've been looking at for years? It's finally on sale for 10, 000. And now you have the cruise ship or the entrepreneurship. The cruise ship or the entrepreneurship. And both ships sail when you're waffling and not making a decision. So, the fourth way that we ward off wealth is by whining. And many times women do this over wine. which lowers your consciousness and puts you in an environment where other women are colluding with what you're whining about. And that's not going to create any positive forward momentum. This is where we call it swamping. Another thing we could call it is swamping, where it's just polluting with the sob stories. That's too far on the feminine side, I think. And you're not going to, it's not going to be productive. You're not actually going to get out of it other than off gassing some emotions. You're not really going to shift your reality by whining. And then the last one is waiting on, and I did this all the time at the beginning of my personal development career. I would wait on everybody else for, no pay, initially, for no pay. I was running around waiting on everyone because I was so excited by what I, my calling, I was so excited by my calling and I was so excited by what had happened for me that I wanted everyone to be having the same experience and if people aren't paying for it they're not going to actually get the benefit. Of it. I'm not going to value it. Yeah, that's right. That's right. I think so much of our health is dictated by the people around us. And so if you're surrounding yourself, just if you're listening right now, and you're like, man, I, uh, I did all the things I was supposed to do. Maybe I had, I got married, I had the kids, I got the job, I have the house. Why am I not happy? Well, we've all right. Like we've sat there and we're like, this is what we've been told and it's not working. And then you might be sick. You might be in pain and wondering, well, now my body is giving too. And it's the if we, what are the, what's that saying? If you have five friends and you're the sixth person and five are millionaires, you'll be eventually be one. And the point of that is just you are, you hang out with, so if you hang out with a bunch of people that hate their jobs, that binge drink, that want to gossip and talk shit about other people, that's stagnation. That's that swamping. They have been trained by our society that's the behavior that's the behavior. But, look at anybody who's been. 20 years whining and, just year over year. We're here at the beginning of a new year. Has anything changed for that person that you've been listening to whine for the last year or the last two years or the last three years? My mother was a whiner. She was a horrible whiner. Eventually, I had to say, no, I can't do this with you. I can't do this with you. If you're going to call and talk to me, I want to hear something good. And if you can't say something good, don't call me, a hard thing to do to your mother with your mother. I needed to make sure that I was well and listening to her bitching and moaning and whining about everything wasn't helping. It wasn't doing anything for any of us. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a balance in my experience of okay, feeling your emotions, right? Feeling them processing the, when you start marinating in it, that's. That's okay, we've got to move forward because there you can, there's places for this. This is why you hire a mentor or a coach. This is why you hire a health professional. If you have an issue with your pelvic bowl, go see Dr. Mary and explain to Dr. Mary what's going on and Dr. Mary is there to give you a solution to support you to find your way out of what you have a complaint about. I'm not saying that we can't complain ever, but. Marinating in it, but do something, take out, do something, take some action. And that's why people hire me because you can bitch and moan about, Oh, I don't have any clients or I'm not making enough money or I, the, blah, blah, whatever it is, I'm not getting any clients. I'm trying to charge 250 for 10 clients. Cause that's what the coaches told me. And I was like, yeah no, that's not going to work for you. So yes, there are places and spaces where we can bring the complaint. I am not by any stretch of the imagination saying ghost, what is it? It's not ghosting. It's gaslight. Don't gaslight yourself. Don't be in denial. Don't being in denial is worse than constantly complaining, I think, because being in denial, you're just completely suppressing everything. But know that if you have a complaint, That is something valid that needs to have attention. It doesn't need to have an audience. There's a difference. Yeah. No, there's a massive difference. I agree., I had a hard few weeks, a few weeks ago with just some changes and I was. Just really down in the dumps. And I was like, allowing myself to feel it. I was trying to judge myself and be like, just move through it. Just, you can't get over this. And it's no, I'm going to feel this. I'm going to move through it. I'm going to allow my body to process it. So that way it doesn't pop up later, cause there's also like emotional suppression too, but exactly. There's a goal. Seek help, move through it. And try not to be stagnant. And one of the things that I've noticed a lot is it's around 45 to 55 type a women that I see dealing with chronic pelvic pain, gut issues. A variety of stuff. And I find, I haven't ever looked up research on this, but I do think something, as you go through perimenopause, your estrogen starts lowering and your progesterone. So I think. When we start doing that, our nervous systems are more hypersensitive to, to things and we become less tolerant to BS. And but then there's like within what do we do right now? And so then they have the golden handcuffs, right? So they're stuck at this high paying job. So, and they're having all these health issues. And maybe, these other corporations aren't hiring, which is, a big thing. And they have all this stuff to pay for their kids, right? And then they're stuck. What would you say to that person right now? That person, I would say there's two ways to go. You could go the way I did, which I took a flying leap. I just was like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm outta here. I don't care. I don't care if I end up with no money. I don't care.'cause I can't do this anymore. Not for one freaking second. So when I left real estate, I knew I was going to die if I stayed another minute and I just left. And I learned that. I learned in the leaving that I did have a safety net. I learned in the leaving that I did have wings when I took the flying leap. I learned how to say no to people. I learned how to have boundaries. I learned how to prioritize my health. I learned how to generate money my way. I learned a lot of things by taking a flying leap. So you can do it that way. Or, you can lay one flagstone on the bridge and just start making moves in the direction of what you actually want to create for a life because the clock is ticking and it's not going to be better five years from now or ten years from now. Number one, your health is non negotiable. Health is non negotiable. Start with your health. One, do one thing. Start with your health. If you have a calling to do something, one of the things that I help a lot of women do, I have my own podcast, Wickedly Smart Women. I have a little roadmap for women in corporate who are ready to think about getting started in a consultancy business. Understand, if you're in the golden handcuff stage, you actually have a ton of value that you don't even know that you have that could be. monetized probably exponentially more than what you're doing now. And you can design a business that gives you the kind of freedom that you're looking for. So I'm here to say that there are ways out either take the flying leap and be done because it's only you, this is your life. This is your life. You know what I mean? Or lay one flagstone and that may mean You know, getting my roadmap, it may mean calling Dr. Mary, it may mean, getting to the root cause of what's going on with your pelvic floor, right? I had pelvic floor work at one point, shamanic pelvic floor work, many years ago. And in my pelvic floor work, what came out was I had a remembrance of a trauma situation And it was Trauma from childhood that was still living in my pelvic floor and it was as a result of getting that work that came to the surface and could be released So that I could get rid of the claw of pain that was around my sacral like literally I would sit down and it would Be like the claw of pain. I could almost imagine it was like, like a chicken claw Like attached to my sacrum. It was horrible incredibly painful so that's what I would say. I would say either jump and trust that you're never going to be better than you are right now at being able to make the shift. You're never going to have more energy than you have right now at being able to make the shift or lay one flagstone on that bridge one of the two and get help be willing to take the money out of whatever apple stock and put it in to you stock Put it in you, Stock. I, yeah, so much of the fear of money and like when you actually look at your assets and you look at these different things, obviously there's a variety of different things that people are even unaware of. Hey, how can I leverage? Like for me, I bought a home, made a bunch of equity. I was able to use home equity. To then put my money into myself to heal these inner wounds, these inner traumas, to travel, to get these different experiences. And so then when I do make the money, I pay it off, and so you can leverage different things that you may not even be aware that you can leverage as well. And yeah, so much trauma is stored in the pelvis. To and wherever you need to start, whether it's working with, a coach like yourself, whether it's a pelvic floor, physical therapist, or working with a psychotherapist, I'm a big advocate for psychedelic therapy and helping people go inward and understand their subconscious beliefs that they're not even aware of. And so I think that's, I mean, it's just, it's spot on. And I think that. So many people, women just don't believe that this is possible, but you have one life to live. And the way that I thought about it, when I left corporate was every time, every day I'd go into work at corporate, I go, damn, this could have been one day I invested in myself. And every day I kept saying that to myself and I was like, Okay. Okay. And sometimes I find that I'll even just put it out in the universe and give me a sign. Cause I needed a sign. I couldn't do the leap. I needed a sign. I need a softer, and one day we merged with a massive corporate hospital and I go peace out. Like I, that's it. That's it because that's it. And so I had a clear thing I asked and I got the answer. So sometimes it can be even softer. I think at least in my experience of show me, and then we can start being more visual and observant of these opportunities that are right in front of our face. Sometimes they're even in your network that you just, you haven't even tapped into yet. And so there's magic everywhere. I just think that people just don't. See it. And so just to summarize what we talked about is, correlating the stress of work and trying to fit into positions or maybe work, positions that we don't fit into how to balance the masculine and feminine energy. So we can. Live in between both how to work on yourself. So that way, your health or whatever it is to get you to the next, that next level. And then like you're, you were saying with the thieves, right? Like the different areas of wealth. So our health relationships, the financial aspect. And where are you stealing from? Like really look at where are you stealing from? Yeah. Those are all currencies. Yeah. And so, yeah. So looking at all that, if you're struggling, start really listening to yourself and saying, what am I suppressing? Where do I want to be and what do I want to do? And so how can they reach you? And if you want to talk about, I know you mentioned a few things in there prior for the roadmap checklist, if you want to let them know how they can reach you. Yeah, beautiful. Well, you can definitely tune into my podcast, Wickedly Smart Women. At, uh, you can go right to wickedlysmartwomen. com, and we also have the roadmap there, which is 10 signs that it's time for a high achieving woman to leave corporate and start her own consulting before it's too late. And the roadmap is available right there at wickedlysmartwomen. com, or you can go to roadmap. wickedlysmartwomen. com. It'll take you to the same place. So. I thank you so much for having me today, Mary. I'm looking forward to actually having you on week next week. I'm really excited. I love these unconventional approaches to health of tying. This is the stuff that people don't talk about in healthcare and blending, modern medicine, which can be beautiful, but it's not the answer to everything. And so thank you so much. And until next time, we'll talk to you guys.